There is something deeply wrong with how public conversation has shifted in Ireland over the past few years. The most recent sign of it is one of the most disturbing: families who have just lost someone are being targeted with abuse online, often before they have even had time to grieve.
It is not a new problem, but it is getting worse. And the platforms that allow it to happen are doing very little to stop it.
When tragedy strikes, whether it is a fatal road accident, a violent crime, or a sudden death that makes the news, the story spreads instantly across social media. Within hours, sometimes minutes, comment sections fill up. Some of it is genuine sympathy. But a growing portion of it is something else entirely, speculation, blame, cruelty, and in some cases direct harassment aimed at the people who are suffering most.
Families have spoken about seeing vicious comments about their loved ones while still in the early hours of shock and loss. Some have described being contacted directly by strangers with accusations or abuse. Others have had to watch misinformation about their family member spread rapidly, with no way to stop it.
This is not just bad manners. It causes real, lasting harm to real people at the worst moments of their lives.
The question is why it keeps happening, and why it seems to be escalating. The answer, at least in part, comes down to how social media platforms are designed. Engagement is the currency. Outrage and controversy drive more clicks, more shares, more time spent on the platform. The algorithm does not distinguish between a thoughtful comment and a cruel one. It just rewards whatever gets a reaction.
Ireland is a small country, which makes this dynamic particularly sharp. When a tragedy happens here, there is often a degree of separation of just one or two people between those involved and those commenting online. That closeness does not seem to be creating more empathy. If anything, the anonymity of a screen strips it away entirely.
There is also a broader collapse happening in how people talk to each other in public spaces, online and off. Discourse has become more tribal, more aggressive, and more performative. People are not just sharing opinions anymore, they are playing to an audience, trying to score points, trying to go viral. Grief, tragedy, and loss have become content.
Public figures and politicians have long dealt with online abuse as an occupational hazard, something that is wrong but has become almost expected. The difference now is that ordinary people, with no public profile and no platform to respond, are being pulled into that same environment simply because something terrible happened to their family.
There have been calls in Ireland and across Europe for stronger regulation of social media platforms, forcing them to take more responsibility for what appears on their sites. The EU’s Digital Services Act has pushed some of this forward, requiring larger platforms to do more to address harmful content. But enforcement is slow, and the platforms have shown repeatedly that they will do the minimum required unless forced to do more.
In Ireland, there is growing pressure on the government to ensure that existing and incoming online safety legislation has real teeth. The Online Safety and Media Regulation Act established a framework and created the role of an Online Safety Commissioner, but advocates argue that the pace of change is too slow given the harm being done right now.
For the families caught in the middle of all this, legislation moving through committees offers little comfort. They are dealing with it today, in real time, while trying to cope with loss.
What is needed is a shift in culture as much as regulation. People sharing, commenting, and speculating about tragedies need to stop and think about who is on the other side of the screen. Behind every news story about a death or a disaster is a family that will see what is written. They are reading the comments. They are seeing the posts. They are watching strangers treat the worst moment of their lives as something to argue about.
Social media has given everyone a megaphone. The problem is that too many people are using it without any thought for who is listening.